Last Goodbye [L Lawliet x Reader]

You rubbed the sore and tight muscle in your neck, staring blankly into thick storm just outside the window. Just a few moments before, you had twisted it in the middle of an exasperating, yet satisfying, work out. Normally, you managed to avoid such clumsy mistakes, but, ever since you volunteered to assist with this case, you focussed less and less on such petty activities. Your mind was tangled with thoughts of the murders taking place, possibilities of the criminal's identity.

Often times, you frequently thought about L, the greatest detective in the world, now in charge of the Kira case. You found herself at his side most of the time, writing out whatever he said, making multiple discovers and conclusions from his words. To your surprise, he actually appreciated this gesture. You felt important, trusted, as if someone finally looked passed your peculiar quirks and habits, taking your mind seriously. Despite the chaos and constant fear of your heart suddenly stopping, you did your best to contribute, refusing to be overlooked. This modern day Sherlock Holmes never underestimated your potential.

But, with L, something else lingered between you two. You were not sure what it was, but you could sense an unfamiliar aura of vehemence in his muscles when standing or sitting next to you. As time rolled on, you noticed a strange appeal, even attraction to him. Despite his pale face, big black eyes, dark bags and unruly, ebony hair, you were still drawn in a like fish on a hook by his brilliant mind, his acute reflections, and even his delightful, social awkwardness.

This strange detective remained glued to your thoughts.

As you continued to ponder, you realized that you had never fallen in love before. No one had ever fallen in love with you. You suddenly began to wonder that maybe you would finally endure such an experience-despite the awkwardness and quirks on both ends of the spectrum.

Perhaps.

As you continued to massage your neck, you gasped when your vision was blocked by cold fingers.

"Guess who?" came a familiar voice.

You smirked. "Hello, Ryuzaki. I was just thinking about you."

"Good things, I do hope."

You chuckled. "Why would I think badly of you?"

"I'm sure there are multiple answers to said question, but I'm flattered all the same."

To your surprise, you sensed the tips of his fingers touch the sore spot on your neck. He suddenly pressed hard, causing you to yelp out of reflex.

"Sorry," he murmured, shrugging his shoulders. "You'll get used to it."

You gritted your teeth for a few seconds, but at last you managed to breathe and relax.

"See?" he pushed his thumb against the tenderest part of your injury.

You winced. "Yes; you are quite good at this."

"Ah, thank you."

A few moments of silence passed. You, exhaling deeply, closed your eyes as L continued to releasing the tension in your neck. The room was cold, and the only sound to be heard was the calm, slow breathing of the two individuals and the soft pattering of the rain. His fingers felt like icicles against your skin. As you leaned your head back, you felt a sudden drop of water fall upon the tip of your nose. You blinked for a second, but when you looked, you noticed that L had obviously been standing out in the rain. His hair was soaking wet. That also explained the frigid dampness of his white skin.

"L," you said, touching the tips of his bangs and an amused smirking gracing your features. "You are drenched. Silly."

"Yes: I suppose I am," replied he, blankly.

Then, you took the leather jacket hanging over the arm of the chair. You carefully began to dry pieces of his thick ebony hair. His eyes appeared melancholy and heavy, not his usual blank owl-like stare. But, all the same, he still deliberately kneaded the tightened muscle. He glanced away as if to conceal this new expression.

"L? What is wrong?" you asked.

After slowly raising his head, L stood perfectly still. His eyes were unfocussed and lost. He was silent.

"L?"

No reply. Just empty silence.

"Ryuzaki? Em, L?"

"I hear the bell."

"What? Bell?"

"Yes. The sound of the bell has been unusually loud today."

Crazy talk again? "Well, I can't hear anything."

"Really? You can't hear it? It's been ringing non-stop all day. I find it very distracting," he gradually slid his fingers into your sleek, warm hair, "I wonder if it's a church, maybe a wedding."

"A wedding?"

"Mmhmm," he flexed his fingers, tangling your hair and closing his eyes, "[Name]?"

"Yeah?"

"You and I are friends, right?" his eyes still locked in the middle distance.

"Yes, of course," you slowly lowered your hand.

"If I asked you a question, even if it was personal, would you answer truthfully?"

"Yes." Hm, what did that mean?

"Tell me: what do you have planned for yourself in the future? I mean, after this nonsense is over and done with."

You blinked for a moment and then bit your lip. "Eem, well, you know, I want what any normal woman desires; find a nice guy, settle down, have a family," you dug your finger into your cheek. "Not much else I can think of."

L opened his eyes. Then, he smirked lightly. "You are not normal, [Name]."

You just chuckled and blinked innocently.

Then, L bent down placing his chin on your head, still fiddling with your hair. The atmosphere seemed so friendly, so happy. But, what you did not realize was that he was expecting something soon to befall him. Originally, he was not the slightest bit afraid of what was to come. And then, when he took his first step into this room, into your presence, all of that changed in a second.

"[Name],"he said, softly.

"Ryuzaki?" you waited for his words.

L clutched a handful of silky hair between his palms. After sighing deeply, he bent down close to your face and pressed his moistened cheek against yours, placing a cold hand on the other cheek. Slowly, he inhaled silently through his nose, savoring your scent which was heightened by the fresh rain, a clean and comforting aroma. Your cheeks were warm and wet from contact of his. Little pieces of hair follicles brushed against his lips, tickling them as he breathed. It was almost as if he were memorizing every little detail, every little imperfection.

You were not quite sure what he was doing, but you knew by his odd actions and solemn expression that something bad was going to happen. His eyes, though still seeming cold and dead as usual, conveyed sadness, longing, even fear by his lowered eyelids. On the other hand, you were a little taken aback at how close he was to you. He never really showed these kind of actions to anyone. But, then again, you preferred his terms of affections over any romantic poetry or acts. These little things conveyed so much more. Because of his unique brain structure, a light touch on the cheek was a greater achievement than a passionate kiss or a dramatic confession of love. It was subtle and more importantly enough.

"Ryuzaki?" you whispered. "Are you okay?"

Suddenly rising from his current position, he replied,

"Do you want some ice cream? I have some over on the desk over there."

You blinked. He just stood and waited.

"Yeah, sure."

Then, he snatched your hand, leading you over to a chair.

"Come on," he said, and he sat in his usual position.

Carefully, he scooped up the mint chocolate-chip ice cream into his pretty, little porcelain bowl. Then, he gave some to you, while handing you a pewter spoon.

"Mmm. Looks great. Thanks," you murmured.

He nodded as he deliberately brought the bite to his lips. Slowly, he turned one eye towards you, watching as you calmly licked the mint off of your spoon. The fluorescent lights illuminated your hair, which curved gracefully over your strong shoulders. Your face, solemn and melancholy, appeared more attractive to him in a sense. It made him want to help you in anyway he could, melt away any hindrances, any predicaments you suffered.

Unfortunately, he could not; he did not have enough time.

You watched him out of the corner of your eye, slowly tracing the edge of the bowl with the tip of his finger, the cold glass sending shivers crawling up his arm. The sweet rich taste of the mint in the ice cream and the little pieces of chocolate gradually glazed his tongue. He carefully licked the scraps off of his thumb then began sucking on it as he usually did. His motions were not unusual, but why wouldn't this bad feeling go away?

Finally, he turned towards you. "[Name], dear friend, I have thoroughly enjoyed getting to know you."

You glanced at him. Then, you cocked your head and smiled. "That's what friends are supposed to do, as far as I know. I have enjoyed it too."

"Yes, I suppose you are right."

A few moments of silence passed as the two continued to feast on their delicious treat. L, with his head lowered, murmured very quietly, almost inaudibly,

"It'll be lonely, won't it?"

"Hmm?" you replied with the spoon in your mouth.

"I do hope...you will not be too lonely, if you know what I mean..."

"Lonely, Ryuzaki?"

A small, yet endearing smile graced L's features. He reached over and toyed with the edge of one of your locks. "You and I will be parting ways soon."

Your eyes widened. "Parting? Wh-Wha-?"

He held a finger to your lips, his smile still perched upon his own. "So, you told me that you wanted to settle down?"

"Wait, L-"

"You know," he lowered his volume, "I may not be the typical young man you are used to being around, but," he began to whisper, "if you want, we could move to England together."

You could only blink stunned again.

"While we are there, Watari and I could show you Wammy's House; the orphanage at which I was raised. Would you like that? I could show you the children I mentored and played with as a child."

Parting. Of course, you thought at first that he meant that he was leaving the Task Force. Perhaps, the stress was too much for him. No, L never really suffered from stress. Maybe, he figured it out. Even still, L would never leave unless the rest of the police were secure and safe as well.

Maybe, Light was Kira. Maybe he had it solved this whole time.

Then, what did he mean by-?

Suddenly, you felt your lower eyelid twitch. Did he mean-? Surely not. Was he suspecting that he was about to die? No, it could not be. But, then again, L would not be making such claims without a reason, and he was usually correct when making such drastic assumptions.

Your muscles tightened.

No, it can't be, you thought. It couldn't be! Just when I-!

"Yes, I would like that very much," you replied, "I'm kind of a sucker for kids though. I might want to adopt some."

"Of course; I was hoping you would say that," he took another bite of ice cream from the large container.

"Yeah, I love kids," you looked at the melting ice cream placed on your spoon. Your lip began to tremble. You couldn't wrap your mind around these implications. It all made sense now! L was saying goodbye. "Every-Every child should receive a chance to live a long, n-normal life, a chance to be loved," Without you even realizing it, tears filled your eyes. Soon, they began to burn the corners. Your throat muscles ached and tightened.

At last, droplets rolled down your cheeks, glowing in the dim light, and your shoulders began to quiver.

"[Name]?" said L with the spoon in his mouth. He placed it into the bowl, then gently enclosed your face between his cold and clammy grasp. "[Name], what's wrong?"

You only shook your head.

He gazed into your face: obviously, you figured out what he was trying to convey. You were someone he knew cared and loved him, besides Watari. But, that was different. He was his fatherly figure.

This was far different.

"[Name]?" he murmured.

He felt the tips of his fingers prickle when he noticed the goosebumps on your arm. He stroked your cheek with the back of your hand. He then pressed his forehead against yours. His onyx eyes peeled open gazing into yours, now swollen and red-rimmed. His stomach began to ache.

"Please, don't cry, [Name]," L murmured in his usual monotone voice, "Everything will be alright. I promise."

You stared heavily at him, tears still falling, "But, Ryuzaki; parting? Do you mean-and after I just-I-I I mean-"

"Maybe, you're right;" he dropped his hands and turned back towards the ice cream "Nothing I say seems to make sense anymore."

"But, L-"

He placed a finger over your lips. Smiling in his usual way, he rubbed away droplets that had fallen at the corner of your mouth with the tip of his index finger.

"Perhaps," said L, "Watari could locate an appropriate facility for you and I to live. How would you like that?"

You swallowed hard and managed to force a smile. If what he said was true, then these happy hopes and dreams would never come true. But,they were meant to comfort and deaden the pain that was yet to come. When you gazed into his black eyes, you knew at once that he was fully aware of this. He did not underestimate You in any way. He understood you and took you seriously.

"L, I would love that-more than anything," Suddenly, you stole a large scoop of ice cream and shoved it into your mouth.

He chuckled, the shimmering spoon in his mouth. "I supposed you would say that."

You nodded meekly in reply, raising your head towards the ceiling. "Could it be, maybe, close to the sea? Or perhaps a place where it would snow every winter. Christmas would be so beautiful during that time of year. And think; we would live in England: one of the most lovely countries in the world."

L just stared. "Both sound wonderful."

"London would be a good place to stay."

"That is where the orphanage was founded."

"A better reason to live there!” You glanced at him and laughed, "Especially if we adopted some children."

"Yes. Sounds reasonable."

You grinned. You wanted to cry at the moment. You wanted just to break down and sob. But, if L was really going to die soon, it was apparent that he wanted to spend the last few moments that he had with you, and you did not want to ruin that.

"L," whispered you, lowering her head.

"Yes?"

You giggled and toyed with the end of his hair. "Nothing. I just wanted to say your name."

L blinked for a few minutes. Then, he smiled a little.

"Of...Of course," replied he. He brushed the tip of his index finger from your forehead to the tip of your nose.

You shook your head, "Ryuzaki, you're silly."

"Don't you always say that?"

"But, there's nothing wrong with that, of course," you had to turn away for a second before returning to him.

To your surprise, you found him directly in your face, so close you could feel the cold breath from his nose. His black round orbs gazed into yours, as he pushed his tongue against his thumb. But, then he placed his forehead against yours and closed his eyes. His other hand was up, as if waiting for yours. You felt her eyes fill, but at last, did the same. You laced your fingers between those of his free hand.

How you wished time froze right then.

"Ryuzaki?" suddenly came Watari's voice from the computer.

He raised his head, remaining silent for a moment. "Yes?"

"You are needed downstairs."

Pause. "Of course."

The room went silent. Then, you smiled.

"Well," you said, "Guess that means we better go then."

L tightened his hand around yours. "You're right."

You tried to keep your smile, but then tears dripped out of your eyes as you blinked.

"I'm sorry," L whispered, lowering his head.

You just chuckled lightly. "For what?"

"I did not want you to cry."

You opened your mouth to speak, but then you clamped your lips together. Suddenly, you just shook your head and playfully tapped the end of his nose.

"I'll meet you downstairs," you said.

L looked at you for a few seconds, almost as if he were about to say something, but could not get it out. He could only nod and rise from his seat. But, just as he was about to walk towards the door, he turned back towards you. Carefully, he bent down and pressed his dry lips against your forehead.

You froze and inhaled his scent. Peppermint and tea-as usual. Nothing one would expect coming from the greatest detective in the world. Even you thought he was going to be similar to the great Sherlock Holmes, found in all the story books. But, you were glad that he turned out to be this fascinating person:

L.

"Good-bye, [Name," L whispered, as he turned to leave the room.

You watched his haunched figure exit, until he could no longer be seen. Just as you rose to leave, all of the memories you had involving him, from the first time you had seen him to these last few minutes flooded through your memories. His face, his pale emotionless face, was forever engraved into your mind.

"You and I will be parting ways soon..."

Your hands violently trembled, and your eyes filled once again. Before you knew it, your face was on the desk, weeping bitterly.

Good-bye, L