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Not again...

The words echoed through your barely functioning consciousness as nothing but pain completely encompassed you. The shouts from the midwives, the flickering of the table lanterns, your husband Armin gripping your hand like his life depended on it all became an incomprehensible blur. The only thing you were aware of was your agony-not the little life stirring inside you, not the desperate cries of your beloved. Just the pain, and you wanted it to end.

As every muscle clenched, you pushed.

This happened before. Yes, you lay here in this same room, under these exact circumstances. Only those efforts were completely gone to waste. Your pounding heart twisted as those memories surfaced in your clouded mind:

Just as you endured now, you pushed and screamed with Armin kissing and tightening his grasp around your hand. Your head spun. Everything inside you seemed to splinter as you fell into a terrifying blackness.

“I’m so sorry, sir,” the voice of the midwives were so distant.

“Your baby didn’t make it.”

“She needs rest.”

“Come, let’s leave them be.”

Armin wanted children just as much as you did. After spending so many years in battle with the Titans, he longed for a quiet life with his wife, raising children he could love and protect. The loss of this little newborn, this new life, this little body escaping its growth far too early, tore harshly at his heart. To think that his offspring never received the chance to see the peaceful world he took part in creating was an idea he could barely wrap his mind around. His future suddenly became dark, a feeling he hoped he could avoid for so long.

You sunk into total despondency. Nine months of nurturing this little one, of Armin kissing the swell in your tummy and speaking softly to her, of feeling her little kicks of excitement, you felt as though you lost a part of you. Even with your husband at your side, you were stuck, unable to move forward. Your body still functioned as a new mother with no one to care for. The soreness in your muscles lasted so long, making your sadness even greater. All that suffering and for what?

“Push! Again!”

With a strangled cry, you pushed again, digging your nails into Armin’s palm.
“Stay with me, [Name],” he whispered.

It took long years, filled with tears, long nights and nearly ending your life, before you finally took towards step into healing. Armin was with you all the way to hold you close, nurse you back to health and pull the knife from your hands and jostle some sense back into you. You laced fingers with him and let him guide you from the darkness. You knew he would remain at your side with his tender love and support.

Beads of sweat rolled down your temple. Tears burned your eyes. It seemed as though this anguish would last forever. Instead, you tried your best to focus on the warmth of Armin’s hand. He was there. He wouldn’t leave.  Tremors overtaking your stressed body, you strained your neck to gaze into his sky-blue eyes. Though full of worry, he granted you a weak smile.

“You’re doing well, [Name],” he murmured. “Almost there. Stay with me.”

Biting your lip to the point of bleeding, you sobbed loudly, pushing with every ounce of strength you possessed. Everything blurred. Your head spun. Your hearing became muffled, but your body for just a moment became light.

Then, the shrill cry of a baby broke the strange limbo in which you hovered.

After blinking away the droplets clouding your vision, one of the midwives held a tiny bundle in her arms, cleaning away the blood and excess fluid. Then, she took the nearest blanket and wrapped it carefully before approaching the side of your bed. A bright smile shown on her face.

“Congratulations,” she said softly. “It’s a little girl!”

As Armin gently pulled you up, allowing the nurse to rest the fragile body in your arms. Her face contorted into a grimace as the light of her new world stung her tiny eyes. Quiet squeaks and whimpers broke from her parted lips. Involuntarily, she squirmed in the confinement of her mother’s arms.

The sea of emotion drowned your heart. You wanted to cry, dance with joy, scream, shout, anything at all. Instead, you bent down and kissed the girl’s silky forehead. Arms encircled your shoulders, and your husband rested his chin on the crook of your neck, white fingers tracing the face of his newborn daughter. No words needed to be spoken. As exhausted as you were, you managed to keep awake and savor this moment.

You were ready to try again.
This is a request for :iconpoppyfields145:! Hope you liked it, dear!

One of my brother's dear friends lost a baby who was born prematurely yesterday. So, it was interesting writing on this theme. I hope it turned out okay! ^^'
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:iconlinapoppy:
LinaPoppy Featured By Owner 3 days ago  Student Traditional Artist
*squeaks then faints from the cuteness* x3
Reply
:iconthenobodyofasoldier:
TheNobodyofaSOLDIER Featured By Owner 3 days ago  Hobbyist General Artist
X3
Reply
:iconhurricanecatrina:
HurricaneCatrina Featured By Owner 6 days ago
excited happy 
Reply
:iconthenobodyofasoldier:
TheNobodyofaSOLDIER Featured By Owner 6 days ago  Hobbyist General Artist
:D:D:D:D:D:D
Reply
:iconrandom0806:
Random0806 Featured By Owner Mar 14, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
great work, love! Hug 
Reply
:iconthenobodyofasoldier:
TheNobodyofaSOLDIER Featured By Owner Mar 14, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
Aw, thank you! <3
Reply
:icondemonchan22:
DemonChan22 Featured By Owner Edited Mar 6, 2015
The picture remind me a bit of Anders of Dragon Age 2 XD
Reply
:iconthenobodyofasoldier:
TheNobodyofaSOLDIER Featured By Owner Mar 7, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
OK XD
Reply
:iconticcitobyfan15:
TicciTobyfan15 Featured By Owner Feb 22, 2015
This turned out great :)
Reply
:iconthenobodyofasoldier:
TheNobodyofaSOLDIER Featured By Owner Feb 22, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
Thanks! :D
Reply
:iconticcitobyfan15:
TicciTobyfan15 Featured By Owner Feb 23, 2015
Welcome :)
Reply
:iconlolao:
lolao Featured By Owner Feb 18, 2015  Hobbyist Artist
HNGGHGGG,*SAD SOBBING* ALL ABOARD TH-*sniff* THE FEEL TRAIIINNN *sniff*CHOOO C-CHOO
Reply
:iconthenobodyofasoldier:
TheNobodyofaSOLDIER Featured By Owner Feb 18, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
//JUMPS ON WITH YOU// 
Reply
:iconsmugglemuffin:
SmuggleMuffin Featured By Owner Jan 14, 2015  Student General Artist
My parents couldn't have a baby for 10 years, then they got both me AND my twin brother! This hit me right in the feels!
Reply
:iconticcitobyfan15:
TicciTobyfan15 Featured By Owner Feb 22, 2015
Awwww I want a twin 
Reply
:iconsmugglemuffin:
SmuggleMuffin Featured By Owner Feb 22, 2015  Student General Artist
Yeah, it's really fun. We have all kinds of inside jokes and make tons of anime references our parents don't understand.
Reply
:iconrainbowbliss24:
rainbowbliss24 Featured By Owner Feb 26, 2015  Student Artist
 i crack jokes like that with my bro all the time lol
Reply
:iconsmugglemuffin:
SmuggleMuffin Featured By Owner Feb 26, 2015  Student General Artist
Inside jokes are the greatest! Our parents usually look at us like What? 
Reply
:iconrainbowbliss24:
rainbowbliss24 Featured By Owner Feb 27, 2015  Student Artist
my parents do that too lol
Reply
:iconticcitobyfan15:
TicciTobyfan15 Featured By Owner Feb 23, 2015
That does sound like fun I wish I had a twin brother I'd prefer a twin brother over a twin sister
Reply
:iconsmugglemuffin:
SmuggleMuffin Featured By Owner Feb 24, 2015  Student General Artist
Yeah, that way you don't have to share a room your whole lives (only the first few years).
Reply
:iconthenobodyofasoldier:
TheNobodyofaSOLDIER Featured By Owner Jan 14, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
Awwwww!!! :hug: :hug: Thank you for sharing that! Thank you for your sweet words!!
Reply
:iconsmugglemuffin:
SmuggleMuffin Featured By Owner Jan 14, 2015  Student General Artist
You're welcomeLovely Shoujo Emoji (Huggy Hug) [V2] 
Reply
:iconlandra15:
landra15 Featured By Owner Dec 31, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Wow, amazing!
Reply
:iconthenobodyofasoldier:
TheNobodyofaSOLDIER Featured By Owner Dec 31, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you!
Reply
:icon8-bitstudios:
8-BitStudios Featured By Owner Edited Nov 23, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
"...pulled the knife from your hands and jostled some sense back into you."
This line confused me for the longest time...
I just got what it was implying today.
Now i'm sad....
Reply
:iconnightangel-16:
NightAngel-16 Featured By Owner Nov 25, 2014  Professional General Artist
I didn't get it for a moment either
Reply
:iconthenobodyofasoldier:
TheNobodyofaSOLDIER Featured By Owner Nov 23, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Aw, that happens to me with lines sometimes. Aw, hun. :hug:
Reply
:iconestersnow:
Estersnow Featured By Owner Nov 4, 2014  Student
Baby Blythe~

It means happy/carefree

Also she's guaranteed to look like Armin and I since I have blonde hair and blue eyes too~ :iconarminplz:
Reply
:iconthenobodyofasoldier:
TheNobodyofaSOLDIER Featured By Owner Nov 4, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Aw, cute name!! <3 Cute parents = cute babe :D
Reply
:iconbleedingrose152:
BleedingRose152 Featured By Owner Oct 4, 2014  Student Writer
OH MY GOD IM DYING WITH FEELS ARMIN BABIES WOULD BE SO PRECIOUS
Reply
:iconthenobodyofasoldier:
TheNobodyofaSOLDIER Featured By Owner Oct 4, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
THEY WOULD BE LITTLE ANGELS!!
Reply
:iconbleedingrose152:
BleedingRose152 Featured By Owner Oct 5, 2014  Student Writer
YESSSSSSS
Reply
:icondorkyhipster:
dorkyhipster Featured By Owner Oct 4, 2014  Student Writer
The feels man.... the feels!!!!
Reply
:iconthenobodyofasoldier:
TheNobodyofaSOLDIER Featured By Owner Oct 4, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
D: *Dramatic embrace*
Reply
:iconifyousayyouloveme:
IfYouSayYouLoveMe Featured By Owner Oct 2, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
*sobs*
Reply
:iconthenobodyofasoldier:
TheNobodyofaSOLDIER Featured By Owner Oct 3, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
*hugs* ;A;
Reply
:iconedwinacx:
EdwinaCX Featured By Owner Sep 4, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
I have two babies now.
Reply
:iconthenobodyofasoldier:
TheNobodyofaSOLDIER Featured By Owner Sep 4, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Aw. :D
Reply
:iconedwinacx:
EdwinaCX Featured By Owner Sep 4, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
One is Armin, one is this baby I have in this fic.
Reply
:iconthenobodyofasoldier:
TheNobodyofaSOLDIER Featured By Owner Sep 4, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
AWWWWWW!! Armin is a baby, you're so right. :3
Reply
:iconedwinacx:
EdwinaCX Featured By Owner Sep 4, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Such a sweetie.
Reply
:iconloba-j:
Loba-J Featured By Owner Sep 2, 2014
I am both sad and happy.
Well written.
Reply
:iconthenobodyofasoldier:
TheNobodyofaSOLDIER Featured By Owner Sep 2, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you! 
Reply
:icongreystream:
Greystream Featured By Owner Sep 2, 2014  Student Writer
MY HEART IS BEING SQUEEZED FROM ALL THE ADORABLE AND SOMETIMES HEART WRENCHING FEELINGS This was so perfect <3 I loved it I LOVED IT I LOVED IT
ARMIN AWW JGHBDGBHGHB
This was so perfect, words cannot describe~
Reply
:iconthenobodyofasoldier:
TheNobodyofaSOLDIER Featured By Owner Sep 2, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
YAAAY!!! Thank you so much, love!! ^^
Reply
:iconlittledesertstar:
LittleDesertStar Featured By Owner Sep 2, 2014  Hobbyist Artist
Her name...will be River. She will look like her Daddy and be strong like her Mommy... *happy* This was amazingly touching and I hope I NEVER loose a baby...It'd kill me.
Great story^^
Reply
:iconthenobodyofasoldier:
TheNobodyofaSOLDIER Featured By Owner Sep 2, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Awww. So cute! Yeah, it sounds worse than hell. >.<
Thank you! ^^
Reply
:iconlittledesertstar:
LittleDesertStar Featured By Owner Sep 2, 2014  Hobbyist Artist
Thanks ^//^ I named her after my OCs Mom.
Never never never!
You're welcome :3
Reply
:iconisodria:
Isodria Featured By Owner Sep 2, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
its so sweet

poor Reader and Armin, the pain of that first one....
Reply
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