Crutch [Rei x Anxious!Reader]

Twiddling your pen between your thumb and index, you gazed off into the distance, thoughts circulating like a storm out at sea. Trees rustled softly in the summer breeze, and the warm air heated your skin, like gentle fingers tickling your cheeks. Occasionally, you felt the trickle of water and perceived the sounds of a splash, as Rei dove into the water.

In that split second, the moment before his muscles clenched and his eyes behind the iridescent frames of his goggles, he seemed so focused, so intent on the moment.

Nothing else mattered other than making his grand entrance into the crystal, blue stage of the water.

Ah, how you wished for a piece of that.

How you longed for that needle point determination of completing that task to the best of his ability.

Here you say, and you finally reached that point in your studying, that point in which words became nonsense and numbers became squiggles and lines. Your mind became nothing but a fog, and anxiety slowly began to stack itself within you, threatening to tumble any moment.

You couldn’t give up now. The test was in only a couple of days!

You simply couldn’t give up now!

But, the longer you gazed into the black and white abyss of your notes, the more an odd rage began to bubble. No matter how much you attempted to hammer the information further into your brain, the more it reverberated away from you, like some mysterious force field preventing any further abuse to your already tired mind.

You were done. This was it.

Slamming your pencil down on your notebook, you released an exasperated groan and buried your face in your hands.

You heard the trickling of water and a couple of footsteps drawing closer and closer. You sensed a couple of droplets sprinkling onto the skin of your arm. When you raised your head from your pity party, Rei already began rubbing away the excess dampness from his skin and hair. Immediately, you cleared your throat and smiled.

“You finished?”

He nodded and draped his towel over his shoulder.

“For the time being, anyway,” he said, holding out his hand to you.

Tucking your book under your arm, and tossing your bag over your shoulder, you smiled as his cold fingers encircled yours. Just the pleasant contact brushed off a little of the distress you previously endured.

Aside from being incredibly smart, equipping him with the proper “study buddy” characteristics, Rei with his grounded, scientific manner of thinking always build a steady foundation for you to fall on when your world seemed to crumble. At times, this could make him quite dense. Sometimes, when you needed to just vent and nothing more, he would offer a long, drawn out solution to your problem, be it trouble with friends or his entire interpretation of the damn meaning of life.

You could never stay irritated with him though. Shortly after any squabble, he came with an apology snack or candy with his big, violet eyes quivering with tears as he struggled against a dramatic outburst.

Your heart melted every time.

Rei was more than aware of your current predicament; studying all week with few breaks and contact from the outside world, frustration with the material, big exam around the corner. It was enough to make anyone break down and cry!

Despite the odds, you pushed forward with admirable determination.

Now, in your current state, he just had to figure out what you needed.

Encouragement for the test?

No, at this point, it was possible you were utterly sick of hearing about it.

Offer his help?

No, he figured if you needed it, you would have asked.

Unless you felt like you were imposing, in which case...should he still offer?

No, no, he was thinking too hard.

Breaking from the cyclic questioning within his mind, he figured it would be best to start with the easiest, and most acceptable:

“How are you?”

Your eyes shifted to him for a minute before gazing back forward. You pressed your lips together as you pondered the appropriate answer for this.

You could be honest with Rei. He was at least the type to take honest answers without overly emphasizing it or taking offense, but on the other hand, you weren’t sure if you even wanted to discuss the matter. It was all you could talk about - no - it was all you could think about.

But, it would remain as such until you finally log out of the computer, leave the school building, and drive home. Then, you could drop it once and for all.

Until then, you supposed you obtained some griping rights:

“Exhausted,” you said following with an exasperated sigh. “My brain feels like mud. My back hurts, and my eyes are burning,” you proceeded to pinch the bridge of your nose. “I don’t know if I can take much more of this.”

Rei simply nodded, indicating his listening.

“It’s just been one thing after another,” the monsters had been released, and there was no stopping it now. “The parents always seem to be griping about something, even when I’m studying. Friends keep pestering me to go out even though I have told them I’ve been studying, and I feel so guilty for rejecting offers, but at the same time, they don’t listen...”

As you inhaled, you felt a hint of shaking in your throat as you fought the urge to cry. But, tears already began their descent down your cheek. Hastily, you turned away from your boyfriend and rubbed your face against your sleeve.

Without a moment’s hesitation, Rei gently took your wrist into his cooled hand and pulled you close. It didn’t matter if he was still soaking wet or smelt of chlorine. Your arms immediately latched about his neck, and you cried until you fell silent in his arms, until the toxins inside you were ejected from your system, and all you could do was hold onto the only stable aspect of your life.

Despite such an intense outburst, a small smile still graced Rei’s lips as he held you in his arms and softly stroked the back of your neck with his thumb.

While he could give you a million and one logical solutions to your problems, while he could easily sit down and help you study, which he most certainly could and would later, he knew now was not the time.

Right now, you just needed some footing, a crutch to lean on, just a little validation for your feelings when no one else was around to do so.

All it required was for him to listen.

After falling silent for just a minute or two, Rei carefully took your shoulders and pushed you away enough for him to look into your face, still flushed from pressing against him. With a small laugh, he cupped your cheek and wiped the excess moisture with his thumb.

“You’ve really been through a lot,” he said. “But, you’re doing a good job.”

Your face beamed with delight just from those simple words.

“Really?”

He pressed a kiss to your forehead.

“Really.”

Draping an arm about you, he lead you through the gate of the pool, starting the path home.

“If you want, I can help you a bit with studying.”

“Yeah, that’d be great. But, can we get some cookies first? I could use the sugar.”

“Anything you want!”